Ganesha the Viking
Woah, freedom.

I just quit the DW-hosted roleplaying game I've mentioned before - you know, before my other huge hiatus from posting as myself anywhere that didn't have a Twitter-esque character limit. (For all my love of plurk's handiness for communicating to the masses, I've been slowly beginning to miss talking at length.)

I have to say, my drive for writing has been dying lately, mostly due to the time constraints and oddly enough, quotas placed on people in most DW-based games. (You're required to make a certain number of posts a month, which simply is doubled/tripled/as you add more characters, rather than encouraging a small player base with a variety of characters to prevent boredom for the writers/realism since not every type of character would be involved in every type of plot.) I assume it comes from the average roleplayer being someone with, well, a lot of free time to spend online. But when you're in a committed relationship and have some nice real life friends, or even just want to read real books and not fic some days, it suddenly becomes exponentially harder to keep up with 10+ (even 20+) threads/individual storylines at once. A hobby should be something that's done as just that, something you enjoy in your free time, not something you need to MAKE time for or go out of your way to accomodate in your schedule. I found myself apologising for my absence more and more and even taking a hiatus didn't work, so.

Did I mention I became a 'maintenance mod' there? Although I had all the responsibilities of the main mods (reviewing apps, adding tags in comms, editing entries, etc) I didn't have as much...sway in things? And I was afraid of stepping on toes, plus I didn't want to make it my game because I already had a brain baby of an idea with Kat that I'd rather spend my time cultivating.

Kat was someone I had to sort of wheedle into joining, and she's been miserable since before she even did so, and her finally admitting she'd like to quit was what let me realise it would be okay if I did - since I didn't want to leave her high and dry if she wasn't prepared to leave, especially as I was one of the few muns who interacted with her character as if he wasn't the Plague. So we both quit yesterday amid one mod seeming...upset, one being placated quickly enough, and the other (now ex) mod not appearing to have an opinion. u_u

I'll miss the relationships and storylines I had built there, but I can always continue that with them on our own time in memes/other places if they enjoyed them also. Really I just can't handle the structure of roleplays here - they seem specifically designed to encourage people into bad computer habits. It teaches everyone that you NEED to post a certain amount of times and makes it into a job, something that a casual roleplayer would be turned off by - Kat and I actually had a friend refuse to app because of how the comm is run. On the plus side, I finally found a truly laid back community that doesn't lie to the players, is friendly and has no 'timeline' of a day-to-day ratio between in- and out of-game , I just don't...understand the need for timing things. So yeah. :'D

In other news, work is going fantastically, although it needs to go even better before I can move out! That or Kat and I need a third roommate to rent with, aha. But it's going very well and I'm basically the 'lead' massage therapist at this point - I work four days a week while no one else works more than one, and I'm guaranteed a certain amount of hours' worth of pay regardless of the hours I work. (Which I am slowly climbing above! We're slowly growing the client base and it's a great feeling to see my work paying off. ;-; <3 It's lovely doing something I'm passionate about and confident in as a job.)
Ganesha the Viking
12 December 2011 @ 01:43 pm
I'm having far, far too much fun writing a bit of fic for my girlfriend about two characters of ours that we usually use for roleplaying. ♥ I prefer roleplaying when I want interaction, and it's nice to get constant feedback (in the form of replies if nothing else) but there's something about controlling all involved characters and being able to have a steady style and my own choice of pacing that really is appealing. ;0; I just wish it wasn't set in a strange AU with two characters from very different fandom sources and a gay PWP with a pretense of plot, as well *shot* so that I could actually post it somewhere for other feedback, but oh well. xD

I've also taken to pretending I'm going to get better at drawing, and have been sketching quite a lot in the past few days (as compared to the quantity of illustrations I was producing weekly before, which was a fairly even average of 'none'). Mostly of different styles butchering the possible ways of rendering the Beatles (mainly George, poor guy) and, in a twist, Lady Gaga. I don't know, she's got a fairly distinct facial structure/body type that sticks out to me, and then there's of course the fact that her outfits and hair are always ridiculous and therefore let me practice a lot of different things while using the same source (and getting better at consistently drawing the same person). I feel a bit silly, but I find random crappy sheets of computer paper easier to sketch on than my actual sketch book. :( I think it's because of the way it bends out; it's not spiral-bound and therefore kinda hard to lay flat.

Also, 35 hours of work scheduled this week; which I'm trying my very best to be optimistic and smart about.~ I've been stretching constantly and I'm actually not in that much pain so far, so I've got high hopes. In the end, it'll help me start replenishing my drained funds from Christmas-shopping (I seriously go overboard when buying gifts for other people, it's just too fun for me D:) which will make me feel a lot better, so. ♥
Ganesha the Viking
29 November 2011 @ 02:00 pm
I feel like it's been a while since I posted, and it's due mostly to me being too scatter-brained most of the time to feel like composing words into appropriate sentences to make an entry. They're either too whiney or too pointless, and I feel like I should be using my blogging space to be say...reviewing books or television shows, or expanding on and exploring religious/spiritual beliefs in a meaningful way, or just not being all about my moping and general uselessness. xD

This of course isn't one of those kinds of posts -shot-, but in the interest of an update...

Christmas shopping will finally get to start with me this Thursday (maybe Wednesday) depending on when my bank account registers my paycheck. It feels strange to know I'll be so crunched for time this season as last year, I was gleefully reveling in having a job and money and was buying Christmas presents starting in about August. Because I'm the sort of person that gets a high off of picking out presents for other people. (I'm so indecisive myself, that I can rarely pick what I would want, but making educated guesses/outright buying what more decisive people than myself want is really fun.)

Also, Kat ([personal profile] badkarma/my girlfriend) was nice enough to cover my shift for today - she wanted the hours anyway, but it still meant a lot to me. This Sunday at work, I hurt my tailbone in a hilarious story that should really not have such a serious ending to it. xD

Basically me, in my need to ignore basic ideas about safety, was standing on a chair (I'm a moron, I know) to reach something at work, and when I went to get off said chair, I managed to flip it forward with the shift of my bodyweight. The chair and my body then worked together to ensure the experience ended in a grade-A collision, as I both fell down onto the chair as the seat moved out from under my foot, and the chair propelled itself forward. You know how most simple chairs have a back that's supported by two slats going up above each of the back legs? One of those hit me in the tailbone, which aside from being a really awkward place to get smacked while you're in public (or alone, for that matter), was really painful. Really. Once I didn't feel like I was going to be sick anymore though (it actually hurt so bad I felt like I was going to vomit, which is new for me), I just went about the rest of my day, which was thankfully short.

I thought I was okay, and I still keep thinking that, but in the meantime I'll go through cycles of horrendous pain that eventually go away. Right now is one of the times where I've just got a bit of a lower backache, but earlier I had to go lay down because sitting and standing were both excruciating. I'm completely torn about seeing a doctor, admittedly mostly because I haven't actually switched to a new one (I recently finally left my pediatrician; I just turned twenty about a month ago) and I cannot stand my old doctor. So I'm not...quite sure what to do, since I'm sure I'd KNOW if I actually broke something. But I'm also not positive not treating it is the right way to go - on the other hand, the doctor will probably just tell me what I've already deduced. I strained muscles/tissue in my tailbone area/low back with the impact, and a doctor can't do anything for that except prescribe me more painkillers, which I already take far too much of. So.

Until I feel better though, I'm just thankful I didn't have to go through standing all day at work today - yesterday was an unexpected hell. D: I don't work again until Saturday (or possibly tomorrow, but I'm trying not to think about that) so hopefully...I'll feel better.

What really sucks is that even though I'm home, even just typing up this much has made it harder to sit at the computer, so I doubt I'll be getting much work done on the new roleplay comm Kat and I started. Ah well. I can still fold laundry and sort out summer clothes to put away, and in the end that's more important. xD